If you’ve ever felt there are things holding you back or that you don’t have the experience to excel in your career (I know I did!) then this week’s video is for you!
I was invited to join a panel recently at the stunning IOD (Institute of Directors) building in London. As an expert on “rule breaking for women” (who knew?!),they wanted my opinion on how women can step out and stand up both in the workplace and our personal lives. (Guys, don’t tune out, the tools apply to you too!)
The panel was for the book launch of “The Rule Breaker’s Guide To Step Up & Stand Out: A Manifesto for Rebels”, by my friend Georgia Varjas…. it’s a good title isn’t it?! You can find out more about the book on Amazon > here.
A question came towards the end from a young female journalist about how she can excel in her career when there are things holding her back and giving her self-doubt such as her level of experience or her language skills (she’s a native Spanish speaker)…
My brain couldn’t help but remind me one of my favorite sayings:
The grass is always greener where you water it!
Watch my answer to her question about the two simple questions to overcome self doubt.
You see it has to start with – What are you paying attention to? What is the patch of grass that you could be watering, reminding yourself what you’re good at will give you more confidence. Sometimes that’s really difficult tangibly to identify. And, you know me, I want you to have the tangible ‘how to’ not just the mindset reset! Sometimes you don’t know what you are bringing!
One of the most effective things that you can do is seek feedback from others, be they; role models, mentors, or simply more experienced colleagues or friends.
Ask them these two powerful questions to help you counter self-doubt:
- What do you see in methat I’m bringing to this situation/my role that others haven’t brought previously?
- What choices did you make, when you were at my level of experience, that helped you create the journey you’re on now?
You’ll find the more you pause your inner critic by asking great questions of others, the clearer the grass will become. (Ok, the grass anecdote is over now promise!) And you’ll start to recognise what you’re good at regardless of your level of experience. Sharing what you’re great at is of course then the next step!
It’s incredibly empowering to get insights, thoughts and ideas from people that aren’t living with the self-doubt and the crippling inner critic that is holding you back.
There are people that know you, and/or that have been through similar experiences (and overcome their own self doubt along the way, trust me!) The only way they can share that with you is of course if you have the courage to ask.
And my other top tip, as always, is: WRITE IT DOWN!
Because when you have your next moment of self doubt, which you inevitably will have professionally, your brain will go back to its deeply established patterns; your existing neural pathways fire back up when you are experiencing self doubt. In order to create a powerful new pathway, redirect your brain so it knows “that’s not the truth” by looking at your written EVIDENCE. Read it again and again and again until that becomes your new story.
Finally, if no one else tells you today, let me be the one to tell you I’m grateful for you. I believe you can overcome your self-doubt and find the confidence you need regardless of your experience! Thank you for letting me be a part of your day and thank you for being a part of my world.
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