Celebrating Ilse: Senior Finance Manager Charity Sector

 “I was dealing with a lot of change management. I was struggling with time. I was busy with so many tasks. I now stand up more for what I believe. I step back and take the time I need. My coaching experience has been freeing, enlightening and exposing (in a positive way!)

Ilse

Karen High Definition You Coach

Hi, it’s Karen from High Definition You view here. I’m a High Definition You coach. And I have been lucky enough to work with brilliant Ilse over the last three months on her coaching journey.

So I’m going to take a few minutes to catch up with Ilse, know how the journeys been for her and see some of the learnings that she can share with you. So morning, Ilse, how are you?

Ilse

Okay, thank You.

Karen High Definition You Coach

Excellent. Um, we’ve been working together for about three months now. And I’m keen if you could just tell me a little bit about what your life looked like, before starting our coaching programme together? What were you struggling with? What were the kind of sticky bits for you?

Ilse

Some of the hardest bits, just some of the people relate to you doing a lot of work with having to deal with a lot of people, a lot of change management, which meant that there was some resistance in some areas, some steps of the way. So I think that was quite challenging when you’re trying to get through all your other work as well.

And then also, I think, just because of all everything that was going on, I had a number of tasks on my plate. And so having to deal with people means you need to actually put time aside to really think about it. And I didn’t really have, I was just struggling with time to be able to get through all of that and approach that in the right way. So yeah, that was probably the Yeah, we are struggling most.

Karen High Definition You Coach

That’s been the theme throughout our sessions together hasn’t it been the key theme of the tasks. We’ve worked, we’ve worked it out quite a bit. It’s just a task, that would be fine. But the task involves people, and that’s the struggle, interesting.

So from your own perspective, he talks a little bit about the resistance of said people, in your own mind, was there any resistance you had before committing to working with a High Definition You?

Ilse

Yeah, I’d probably say there was a little bit. I think mainly just because I was already so busy with so many other tasks, I think the time was a big issue for me, because I just was like, I didn’t quite know how to put the time aside to be able to give it the value that I needed to get the time it needed. When there were so many other things going on, and so many balls in the air.

So I think that was probably where I had the biggest resistance just was trying to get realising that I need it, I’m going to have to put the time aside for it. To fir this in.

Karen High Definition You Coach

And when we first met you live in Cape Town, and now you’re in London, so not only the work thing, actual, the actual life admin of changing, yes. So, what’s changed? Or what results have you personally seen? Since we started working together?

Ilse

I think for me, the biggest result has been realising that we’re all different. I mean, and I knew this, but I think just seeing the different types of characters and being able to see that we’re all different people, we have different strengths, some are passive, some are, you know, not more aggressive.

Some, you know, we all have different types of styles of working as well. So different approaches work better with certain groups of people. So I think that has been helpful for me to be able to realise sometimes one just needs to spend the time to step back and analyse what is the person you’re working with?

What are they like Who are they, and that’ll help you with a style and then also with what kind of person they are, which will help you in approaching them so that you can approach them in a way that they are comfortable with? Because then they can receive the message that you’ve got to give them?

Karen High Definition You Coach

Was there an Aha moment in that realisation?

Ilse

Yeah, I think it was when you went through one of those sessions on the different colours. You know you use colours on people and different types of characters. I think that was weird was but like, Okay, if you just take that time, because I think you get so busy, you don’t take the time to step back, you just want to deal with the person and sort out the situation that they that there are queering or resisting, or whatever it may be.

And sometimes you just need to step back and say, Okay, hang on, step back. What kind of person are they? What is the best way to approach them? Is that going to be via email? Is it going to be a call? And then even how to word those emails? So we did that exercise on words and how people can interpret words in a different way.

That was another seven small words with seven very different meanings. Yeah, because I think I’d been experiencing that situation where someone had been interpreting things, the way they wanted to interpret something that was not what was meant at all. And then we try to explain it to them in words, but it got interpreted wrongly again. I just needed to get them.

Do a little example and show them in a practical example what we mean, you know, so and then that so that example of the seven words made me realise those kinds of sometimes people react. And an added is just because they’ve interpreted what you’ve said in a different way. So just try and explain it differently and see if the reaction is different. So, yeah.

Karen High Definition You Coach

So what do you think is now possible? Its sort of our journey seems to be impossible.

Ilse

I guess, just the I mean, I’ve always enjoyed working with people. And that’s always been one of my strengths. But I think I’m kind of one of those people who tends to sort of submitting to people or not stand up for things. And I think now what I’ve learned is sometimes it’s okay to stand up for what you believe.

Just try and express it in a different way. You know, don’t submit automatically, if you really feel strongly that something is the right way to do something. And there’s resistance to it, just try and tackle it from a different direction or different approach and consider them as a person and what kind of person are they to see? How is their best approach going to be?

Karen High Definition You Coach

And I think that’s it. That’s it from a work context, but also just real life in general, isn’t it? Yeah. Interactions with anybody, it doesn’t have to be someone at work. Yeah, absolutely. So what about living life in general? What does living life in High Definition? mean for you?

Ilse

For me, I think it’s, it’s the stepping back. I think. I’ve learned that I’m one of those people, I’m very quick. So I’m going to get things done and ticked off the box that comes with doing something so many things to do, and just my character as well. And I think I’ve learned that living life is to step back, and sometimes take the time you need for yourself.

Sometimes you need to just take time out sometimes in the middle of the day, just go for a walk, because and rather than react to something or respond immediately to something, just take the time off, tomorrow’s another day, a couple of hours later is another time doesn’t, you know, it’s not going to end everything.

And then your approach to it is going to be quite different as well because you’ve taken the time out. I think that’s what living life for me is from my definition.

Karen High Definition You Coach

And what is it in the way that we work together? That’s allowed you to achieve those results?

Ilse

I don’t know, I guess just the openness. And then the examples that have been given and, and just Yeah, I think just being able to talk to someone, actually, as well.

Karen High Definition You Coach

It’s been fun, hasn’t it? I think we’ve had a right laugh. It is been brilliant.

Ilse

Yeah, it makes you realise that you’re not alone. When you realise that someone else, when you come back with answers so quickly, you realise Okay, well, obviously, other people have had the same issues as you and experienced the same situations as you and it’s okay to be like, it’s okay to be in those situations, it’s okay.

And just to have an independent person to talk to it’s been, it’s been good.

Karen High Definition You Coach

It’s really interesting because the industry you work in, or you know, the, you know, the country you live in, it really doesn’t matter. Everybody is facing similar things that are unique to them. And I think that that’s really interesting. So what really surprised or delighted you in the coaching experience that you’ve had?

Ilse

I didn’t really know, I don’t think I had really many expectations because I’ve never done this before. So I, I don’t I don’t think I had an expectation of what was going to show what was what it was about.

But I think what has surprised me is or delighted me, I guess it’s just again, coming back to the key points is just realising we different people, and we have to learn to listen to one another, we have to learn to read what another person is like, trying to understand what they like because it makes them for a better working relationship, easier working relationship and to realise that we all have strengths and weaknesses.

But then also, I think, the delight of just knowing that it’s okay to need to take your own time. I think sometimes it gets so busy with work and we know that in the background, but we get so busy that we forget that actually, in the busyness we actually have to keep time for ourselves. Otherwise, we can’t actually keep going, keep doing what we’re doing.

Karen High Definition You Coach

And it’s interesting that it was the people not the task was to challenge people that are the delights which would get our heads around these different people actually, that’s quite delightful to be able to Yeah, that’s really interesting. Brilliant.

So what three words be more than three if you want but if you want choose three what three words would you choose to describe your High Definition you coaching experience,

Ilse

Freeing, free could be enlightening. And at times exposing because I think you see who you are, um, but exposed in a positive way, because it’s good to know who we are, we see where we, where we need to, you know, to spend time to see how to take our weaknesses and turn them into positive expect experiences and strength.

Karen High Definition You Coach

Ilse. I love the feeling of enlightening and exposing it’s such a spectrum, isn’t it? And it really has been on everything. That’s brilliant. Okay, and if you could choose one word or phrase to describe where you were at the start and where you are now, what would that be? One word or phrase?

Ilse

One word? (Or phrase) Um, it’s probably a surprise, I would say at the start, I was stressed and anxious. And now I’ve really just been at the moment, taking each day as it comes. You know, not? Yeah, it’s just been more freeing.

Karen High Definition You Coach

From stressed and anxious to freeing and so that’s. And if there was someone considering taking the step to invest in coaching with High Definition, you need the advice you would give that person.

Ilse

Don’t be anxious, and afraid to do it, because I think for me, I was, it’s speaking to someone you don’t know. Especially if you’re a quiet, shy person. It’s, it’s hard. But it’s, it’s actually not that hard when you do it, the thought of it is harder than the actual doing. And what you get out of it is, is a very positive experience. So yeah.

Karen High Definition You Coach

I have genuinely loved working with you feel so it’s been such a journey. I think literally and figuratively from Cape Town across the US in into the kind of work challenges that you’ve absolutely taken your stride fully through and congrats to you for developing and being very open-minded. And I will thank you it’s been fun. I know it’s absolutely wishing you all the best I really do.

And I hope you keep in contact with me so we can, can you know to see that journey? Continuing?

Ilse

Maybe get some pictures of your seaside every time I start getting a little stressed out and anxious.

Karen High Definition You Coach

Just WhatsApp me il send you a picture of the sea. I’ll take either kids or the dog to the beach. I promise and it’s so I promised that is my oath to you if you ever need a picture of the sea.

Ilse

It was lovely to meet you. I’m sure il be in contact

Karen High Definition You Coach

I really do hope so. Take care. Bye