Celebrating David: Senior Executive and Father of two Recruitment Industry

“I was struggling with direction and time. I was looking for a holistic approach across home and work. I have gone from struggling to purposeful. Things are on my terms now.”

David

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Hi, it’s Gitanjali here at High Definition You and I are joined by the wonderful David this week to share his client story. Hello, David, can you tell us a little bit about who you are in the world? And what do you do?

David

Right, who am I? So I, the mid-40s, late 40s. I have been an executive within executive search, and talent advisory for about 15 years. Prior to that, I worked in the corporate world. And yeah, I kind of came to a bit of an epiphany last year during the pandemic that, you know, things were going okay, but I thought they could go much better. So I was looking for an opportunity to get some help around that. And I came across a game that was yay, and great things have happened since.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

So where were you taking us back to that moment? When we first started talking around, what were you feeling really challenged by? What did you feel like you were maybe struggling with or you wanted to change?

David

So it wasn’t just because of the pandemic? I think it kind of sharpened the issue, but it was more around time. And not that I didn’t have time, but the time I would want to do with it and get effective results from my use of the time. So it was a procrastination issue. And yeah, so I was kind of struggling with direction.

And, you know, I needed some advice and some help around that. So I was kind of looking at options or looking at people who might be able to help me. And yeah, I came across your details and beyond that kind of went through the website and so forth. And yeah, we had conversations and took it from there.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

When you were thinking about asking me for help. It’s always an interesting one for me in terms of not making an agenda conversation, but I think sometimes there’s a cultural issue, whether that’s gender-related or not around actually asking for help. Is that your instinct as well, like men actually reaching out individually?

You know, I work with a lot of executives, who get a coach in terms of whether they’re promoted up to a CEO level or if they get given a coach. So from a male perspective, there isn’t that sort of hesitation? Do you think that’s something that you sort of went through your mind or something you’ve seen about, you know, men kind of reaching out for help and getting a coach individually?

David

Yeah, 100%. And on both fronts, you know, I had a coach, but it was a lot of work, it came from a work triangle. And I particularly was looking for a more sort of holistic approach or on, you know, work as part of life. I want a life coach rather than just a work coach. And so that was that, was my angle on it.

But yeah, I think men tend to be wanting to put their foot forward the perception that they know the answer, and they don’t need to be asking for the answer. And they certainly don’t need to be seen to be asking for the answer. So yeah, that was probably my perception of the general male populace.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I’m very glad you asked. Was there any resistance when, because originally, we talked about doing one to one coaching, and then you ended up joining our possibility programme, which was in a group setting?

Was there any resistance either around that or anything else when you were deciding whether to say yes, sometimes it’s like, oh, God, will I have the time? Will I have the money? You know, what will it be like in the group? Was there anything that came up for you?

David

Uh, yeah, I think so. So both of those things; time, and money. And I guess the fact that the slight curiosity around, you know, the pandemic meant that we couldn’t meet, I guess, is a former, in the old world, we might have met, you know, met him for a coffee just to kind of build a rapport.

And so because this was at the start of the pandemic, it was kind of, you know, the Zoom world was just taking off. So yeah, we kind of had to build a relationship on Zoom.

So I guess that was a bit of a that was something new for me. And so that plus the time and the money and it’s not, the money in itself wasn’t the drama, it was just kind of paying money to somebody that you haven’t actually physically met, you know, to do something that you’re not sure what the outcome is going to be.

So you kind of mean, be kind of the curiosity bit you need to kind of take the leap of faith to move forward with it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

How did you do that? How did you take that leap of faith then what did you have to say to yourself to overcome those obstacles in your mind?

David

Well, I think when he offered one-on-one coaching, it was great. It was a great idea. But it wasn’t quite right for me at that moment. And then when he came back with the other solution that was kind of you know, that was a great alternative. So that was a good, good good for my perspective.

And then it was actually the fact that we were all working from home and the COVID situation meant there was more time really, because the commutes were less, and so forth.

So actually, timing-wise is where it worked well, because even though the session, you know, it was early in the morning, relatively, but you could fit it into the, you know, for the end of the working day with a comma. I mean, that was very, that was very useful. So once, I guess we talked about the obstacles, and there were solutions to them. So that was all, it was good to go.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And I love that term leap of faith like you just have to take a leap of faith at some point. So you talked about not knowing what the outcomes would be, what were they and what happened? As a result? What does life look like and feel like now? What’s different?

David

Why don’t we try to avoid it, but it’s kind of, you know, gone from a place of negativity to one of possibility because I don’t know if we spoke about this, but in my previous coaching, I did some kind of leadership assessment, can you remember which one and, and it was quite stark some of the results, which showed that you know, I’m quite cynical and sceptical and sort of an overlook and personality, which, you know, can come across in a humorous fashion, but But you know, it can be quite extreme, and others, and I was zero out of 100 in terms of positivity.

So, going, you know, and they might, you know, I was so stark, it was kind of, so he lined up 100 people, I was like, way down there at one, that was me, and everyone else is more positive than me.

And I was like, wow, well, I can’t have that. That’s, that’s, that’s No, that’s no way to live. And so I’ve kind of so the programme has helped me kind of move, you know, I’m not, I’m not 100. But it’s helped me move along the positivity and possibility scale to a kind of place of better or more happiness, definitely.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And what’s been the result for you? Do you think in terms of I mean, you’ve got two children as well. So there’s kind of the parenting aspect of things and the challenges there, as well as from a work perspective and a leader in your field. So what sort of results have you seen in that space?

David

Well, I think there’s, there’s, I mean, it works across both home and work and we talked about what’s in it for them. And then what’s in it for me, kind of and that sort of thing. The thinking pauses. When something happens when a situation arises, I guess previously, I would have been very kind of reactive or hyper-reactive in terms of instant reactions.

And that can be positive, but it tends to be you know, he hasn’t actually thought through what’s going to happen. So taking that pause and thinking about, Well, why is the person coming at it from that angle? Or what do I know, what don’t I know? And just having that thinking, pause and saying what’s in it for me, but what’s in it for them?

You know, it just gives you that opportunity to make a more informed decision. And it’s not, you know, you don’t take five minutes, it’s just it is quite literally a pause. But then you carry on and the decision tends to be much more informed than it might have been. And that’s the same at home.

And I worry, you know, kids, kids or kids in there cooped up all day, and the parents are cooped up all day, and we’ve spent far too much time with our children. No generation, no generation has ever spent this much time with their kids. That’s always tricky.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Yeah. And then when we were going through the programme, yes, that was definitely I love that when you have that realisation and the thinking pauses. And I love that you’re using that with your children as well as with your clients. Was there an aha moment?

Or can you take me to a moment when you knew Oh, the coaching is working, because sometimes it can be a bit nebulous people are sort of thinking, you know, we had the structure to it, there was skills training, we looked at communication, we looked at different things around time management, but there was also the coaching sessions where it was, you know, more open forum, around where you are. So can you give us an example of either an aha moment or when you were like, Oh, this is the coaching working?

David

Yeah, I think I mentioned it to you before, relatively recently just pushing back appropriately with clients. I think when you work in a service industry, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of just saying yes, because the clients are paying the bills. But actually, you have to think about, okay, well, you know, I’m an expert, this is my time, no, this thing, this doesn’t necessarily work in within these timeframes, or it doesn’t work at that particular time of the week, and therefore, you got to be able to push back in these things.

And that was a bit of an aha moment because I think my boss and I were talking about it and it was kind of oh, what you know, what is going to be the outcome of that? And actually, they were fine. So it’s kind of a you know, it’s these things are difficult but actually Again, pause, give it a go. And it worked. So that was definitely an aha moment.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And what delighted you or surprised you about the group aspect of it, because that was obviously something unknown as well.

David

Yeah, I think it was, it was really positive, I suppose you’re always a little bit not concerned but curious as to what you’re going to get when the group pops up. But actually, despite the fact there were lots of diverse people from different industries and backgrounds, the issues or challenges, or opportunities, were all quite similar in terms of, you know, what people were going through, it almost didn’t matter what industry and level people were at, there was a lot of there’s a lot of overlap.

So yeah, it was, it was very positive. And people were very open to learning and growing, there was no kind of no dissenting voice. No one is holding you back, everyone’s there for the same sort of purpose.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And when you think about the results that you got, what is it about the way that I worked? Or, you know, the High Definition You way that helped you to get those results as people work in different ways, but was it?

David

Well, I certainly like the kind of collaborative communicative approach from you within the group. So it’s very much, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t, certainly didn’t seem to come with an agenda necessarily, it was kind of more, what are people’s issues?

And therefore, let’s do it, let’s deal with those. And then does anyone else have those kinds of issues and a lot, you know, kind of expand within, within everyone’s sphere. So it was very relaxing.

There’s no ego, from you, from you, or from anyone in the group, which is great. And it just was kind of a, it was a solid forum to, to kind of express oneself, but also to get help, frankly, so yeah, it was good.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I love that bit. And I mean, you’ve certainly shed amazing insights that other people have learned from as well. And those bits of being in that forum, and watching, you know, other people having moments of being coached and other people witnessing that. And, you know, oftentimes not realising that they even needed to hear that right, they wouldn’t have necessarily bought that question themselves, which was lovely to see in the group.

So if we go back to the beginning, and I will challenge you to choose one word to describe where you were at the beginning of our coaching journey, and one word to describe where you are now, what would they be?

David

Cricket in some ways was a bit lost. Yeah, that’s true. struggling for purpose, and it’s not one word. And then and then towards the end, I feel you know, more purposeful. It’s very much kind of I’m things are done on much more my terms. And I think that’s important. I guess, you know, we put some potential outcomes or possible outcomes and place them through the course of the coaching.

Some of them are very long term, but I guess I would have always been kind of month to month or quarter to the quarter before and that’s better. Well, why don’t I put you know, the best possible outcome of something that’s 10 years away? That’s pretty, you know, a pretty huge milestone. So yeah, I’ve definitely made a purposeful difference.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I love that. So if someone’s watching this David and feeling inspired by you, and they’re considering investing in themselves in coaching, what advice would you give them?

David

I think if if you’ve got questions about direction or purpose, I think it’s helped me so much. I think it’s a leap of faith thing. You know, don’t do it because I’m telling you to do it. But, the results I’ve gotten have been great, and it’s kind of made a world of difference. So I think it’s worth doing. So if you’ve got queries about direction or purpose, just do it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Love it. Just do it! might need to do a collaboration with Nike. We’ll talk about that. Thank you, David, thank you so much for your time. I’m looking forward to continuing our work together. And I look forward to seeing how you’re going to be really living your life on purpose and with purpose

David

Fantastic. Thanks very much.