Celebrating Pesh: Money Laundering & FinCrime Compliance Lead at Wise

“I’ve never really stopped because my remit is so wide. I’ve been so focused on managing risks and managing my team and all of the other stuff that there was not really a time for me… so to get a bit more confidence in myself and to start thinking what’s holding me back from getting to where I want to go?“

Pesh

 

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Welcome, it’s Gitanjali here from High Definition You and it is my great pleasure to be joined by the wonderful Pesh today, who’s going to tell us a bit more about your one to one executive coaching story. And I love your story because it kind of started with a no searching for. And now look where you are. So tell us a little bit more about what you’re up to in the world, Pesh, what’s your role involve? How many people, what are you doing in the world?

Pesh

Existing. So I work for Wise, which is a payments company, one of the biggest FinTechs in London. I am currently the money laundering reporting officer for Wise and the blank slate. And I look at our UK market and that is about it I think.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Pretty big!  There’s a lot of regulations involved. Now there’s a lot of risk to manage, you’ve got a team to lead as well and then there’s you within that, in terms of your career and your journey and what you want to contribute. Why did we start talking like, what were you struggling with? What was keeping you up at night? What did you want to be different? What did life look like and feel like?

Pesh

Actually, I don’t know what I wanted. And I think that was the problem in the beginning because I thought, I’ve never really stopped because my remit is so wide, I’d never really stopped to think, Okay, what do I want? And I was coming up to almost well, six years and I thought, actually, what do I want to do? I’ve been so focused on, managing risks and managing my team and all of the other stuff that there was not really a time for me, like, what do I want to do next? And so actually, on the recommendation of my lead, who’s brilliant, he said, I think we need to get you a coach just to give me that sort of almost directions, what do you want to do? I don’t know what I want to do. I want to do something I want to change where I am. Not because I’m not satisfied. It’s just like, Okay, I’ve been doing this for a long time. So what do I want to do next? And coaching seemed like, a good option, one, because I’m going places. And so I need to kind of get that little bit of help to gain the ‘C’ word, which you absolutely hate, so to get a bit more confidence in myself and to just really start thinking around, okay, what’s holding me back from getting to where I want to go? Just trying to understand myself a little bit more in terms of what do I actually want and then figuring out, how do I get there and what do I need?

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Was there any resistance initially to say, yes? Tell us a bit about that

Pesh

I was introduced to you get back when I took over the MLR role at Wise and my lead, who’s still the same one went, oh, you could benefit from a bit of coaching? What do I do? I need this actually, in hindsight, had I done this a long time ago, I probably would have been a lot further. But, that’s not how my life graph was drawn. So that’s not how it went. As we were discussing, the next steps and what I need to do is, what I really think you could benefit from, from having a coach, I do have a couple of mentors, and they’re brilliant. It was coaching that brings a little bit of a different perspective and a little bit of difference to just doing things. So I said lets try it. I was very skeptical. I’m just like, Yeah, I’m not really sure this is this is for me at all.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

What did you discover? What were the benefits? What were the results for you? Let’s think about it as for you, and then for the team? And then for the business?

Pesh

I think for me, it was just important to, like I said, I have mentors, and we talk about different things. And they mentored me too, in terms of the skills and different aspects of it. Whereas in coaching, it was changing almost my entire mindset and in how I think about things, how I look at things, how I speak about things, how I approach things. And so for me, that has been really beneficial. I remember after we started coaching, I went away on holiday and I’m really bad, I work on holidays, which is not not how it should be. After a few sessions, I went off on holiday and I remember it was the very first time I never ever logged into work or anything and actually had real time off and it was just because of a few things we had spoken about in the coaching sessions at the very beginning, in terms of actually how you’re approaching things and how I’m thinking about things like, what can go wrong? What if you don’t do this, but if you don’t do that, changing your entire mindset and thought process because we are what we think. And I think for me, that was like a key thing. Then every time I kind of found myself in that space, where I went, oh, but I didn’t, I could just go, No! I mean, that, honestly, that changed my life completely. And not just in terms of work, even my own personal life. And I find myself going down the rabbit hole, you’re like, nope, nope, nope, keep going. That’ll just keep going. Just keep going. And so yeah, that was really, really, insightful. And because of that, I’ve seen my team becoming a lot more independent as I’m not just all the time, questions. He’s like, Hey, you got this? Yeah, you’re good. You got this, nothing’s gonna go wrong, you got this. Just seeing them also becoming in themselves has been quite eye opening. And, yeah, it’ll also take sort of leaps that I would have been maybe afraid of before in terms of like, Oh, who’s gonna fill this role? I’m gonna leave this team here or there like, they need me I’m like, No, actually, life goes on.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

That speed of decision making and detachment that I saw happen for you so quickly, where you were able then to, as you say, give them that space to become, use that lovely word become. And then, I mean, when you went on holiday, and you didn’t open your Ipad, that was a, that’s a massive win, right? Like pausing to celebrate that, I remember that. You also, have to sit in some pretty big board meetings and tell us a little bit about what the benefits been to the business in terms of the results that you’ve got through the coaching journey.

Pesh

I think just being able to be very clear on what I need to deliver and what I need. For myself, most importantly, because once I figured out how to become, and I’m using this word a lot, because I always knew what I wasnt, but when we started, I told you I get completely nervous. I can speak to a roomful of 1000 people, absolutely no nervousness, nothing. And then it comes to me going to a board meeting to only a handful of people, I’m panicking, my anxieties are off the charts, I’m thinking, Oh, my God, and, after we started the sessions, I remember the first one that we did. I came in and I told you, in our next session that when, actually I didn’t have to really overthink anything, I knew exactly what I needed to deliver, I’m very clear on what I need from them. And, everybody at the end of the meeting knows exactly where we stand and what we need, where we’re going. And that shift has been incredible. And also just taking some of the people in my team on these meetings, just being able to just sometimes take a step back and let them shine through them. Because it’s a team effort. It’s not just, just Pesh it’s a whole team effort, and some things they know better than I do, and just even being able to give them that space was not something I would have done before. So yeah, it’s been a massive improvement. But I think the benefit is not just for the company, or for myself, but mostly just for my team. And those people that, make everything good for the company that the people that I work with that I sit with every day, and other people’s whose voices I wanted, maybe had a little bit and have them be seen a little bit more so I could start taking a step back to allow others to kind of shine.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Tell me then you talked about the anxiety and the stress and the panic. And what happened to that then?

Pesh

It just went. I know that sounds weird like for anybody who might be listening which is like Yeah, yeah, of course that might be skeptical, but genuinely, you are your thoughts and wanting always go in with like, what’s the worst that can happen? What is the worst that can happen? Why are you anxious? You know exactly what you want, why like, what what is the reason and every time I found myself going into those thoughts, I would always remember the ticker. Those who know, know, the ticker, just let the thoughts pass, just let them pass. Because at the end of the day, it wasn’t a big deal. I was just working myself up for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And it felt real right? Like that felt real to you. It wasn’t like, Oh, I’m making up this anxiety. It’s like that that feeling of reality. And then, in the in those first few sessions, particularly, it’s really, as you said, understanding how do I work? And what does that mean about my mindset, that very first session, you’re like, oh, my gosh, like, and then messaging and say, Oh, this has changed. dramatically, right. And then I love this idea of how the team is able to step up and shine. So, you’re being coached, but actually the ripple effect that happens, and, and not just what’s the worst that can happen with possiblists, right? It’s like, what’s the best possible outcome? What’s the BPO? For you, and then for your team, we had a three way we had a three way as well with your lead, which is an important part of the journey. What was important for you, and what was the benefit of that?

Pesh

I think it was really that, that was one of the highlights of this coaching journey, because we just saw how different me and my lead, we always say we are the same, literally, almost the same person, we think the same way. But actually going through the exercises, we saw how different we are more of let me just do this, get it done. I’ll do it faster and probably better in my own view. Whereas my lead is like, get in everybody, talk to everybody, let go leader, let’s hold hands and sing and just make things great. I’m like, that is such a waste. I just want to get this done, I can move on to the next thing, but actually, just having that 3 way and I could see also with my lead just like him looking and going, Oh, I’m here, and you’re here, I realize that’s because we communicate completely differently, but also approach things he pushes me, I think, the more he pushes me, the more I retrieve then, I’m like actually, I really just want to do this by myself and just, I don’t need to take more time for me to explain how this is done I just, let me do it, it will take me half a day. Or it can take me a month and so just being able to understand each other was very, very beneficial to both of us. So we know where each of us is coming from. And we know what our dynamics are. We tried in our meeting, in the middle where he’s like, Oh, get him on. I just have one person. And just he moves to understanding, I’m just saying not holding my head every time he goes like, hey, you need to get these people to do the work themselves. And just being able to find that compromise. You just change the way we communicate. And yeah, I can see the the benefits of that going forward. Because now we understand each other a little bit better.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Yeah, and that piece is really important as part of it. Because also, it’s not like, Oh, hey, go over there and get fixed, with a coach. Nobody needs fixing everybody’s hole. It is really, you’re in an ecosystem with other people and having those conversations. So we do love, we do love a three way we do love a three way. Can you, you’ve given some really great examples of, how it actually changed things for you and what the benefits were, can you take me to an Aha moment, when you knew that the coaching was working?

Pesh

I think it was after session one that I went away on holiday. And I was very skeptical with all of this, not just me. Are you doing coaching? Like, how exactly is that gonna help you. But then it was after learning how to kill the thoughts that take you to sort of gets you in this state of mind and your breathing and being able to just shift very quickly and recognize and you give me this really good every time you find yourself thinking all of this stuff, just go ‘ping’. And I did that. I think after week one, it was incredible. Like it was a complete game changer because I could just go ‘ping’ every time I found my good ‘ping’. It’s almost like resetting yourself constantly. But then your mind now automatically knows to just reset you don’t even have to think about it. And I think at that moment is when I knew this was probably going to be a ‘ping’ moment when I had my first, where the thoughts come in, you’re like, Oh, I might dwell on that one and then you’re like no, ‘ping’. Let’s keep going, like let’s keep going, you are your thoughts, like just keep going, life will go and just you don’t have to dwell on that. And it’s not just saying that you don’t have things that you will have to really deeply think about. It’s being more consciously aware of your thoughts and how you act on your thoughts and that your thoughts can lead you to act completely differently. And you are a completely different person to who you are meant to be at any one time. So, it’s I think my ‘ping’ moment that was when I knew this is actually going to work.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

That and the use of the word consciousness, right of like, when actually Oh, I can be conscious of my choices, right? That’s one of our seven elements, right of being a Possiblist is conscious choice actually are now I can bring that conscious choice to whatever it is whether it’s opening the laptop on holiday, you’re not you’re not in that habitual thinking and in that habitual behavior, which, is has got you here and is not serving you particularly well, necessarily, what is it about? Because there’s lots of different coaching approaches. And it’s not like you’re, I’ve done this, and I’ve done that. So this is better than that. But what is it about the way that we work together and the approach that that got you those results, the life changing results?

Pesh

I think so, I expect, so when we started talking about coaching, I went to different coaches, because I wanted to kind of see, everybody told me you have to be able to gel with your coach, like you have to have that connection, if you don’t have it, it becomes very difficult to get in so and I went to a couple of recommended coaches, and I remember having conversation with you. And actually, I really don’t want to start coaching until after my sabbatical in September and you went, No, you’re gonna start now and I went, okay. I’ve been told. We’re not gonna wait, why are we waiting? And because in my mind was like, I’ll always start this after my sabattical, because I have a very long break in between and you just went, No, we’re gonna start now. And I went Okay, that’s my kind of person. So that’s, and having spoken to you initially, you asked me, what would you want? All that stuff helped me make this choice. And yeah, not regretted it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And what, what gives people a flavor of what it’s like, then like, what’s the approach when you’re being coached? How would you describe it?

Pesh

You have to be very, you have to be vulnerable. If you’re not too, it’s very hard to get into the conversation of actually what is holding you back. If you remain sort of superficial, you will get a lot out of it, you’ve got to be open and honest. And you’ve got to be able to listen, and even when you’re skeptical about some things, I remember, like a couple of times we’ve got here, but I’m like, realistically, that’s just not going to work. But then, you’re like, well, you have to be open to the possibility. And I think being open to the possibility even when you’re skeptical is important. So have an open mind. Be vulnerable, be honest with with yourself and with your coach. And if you’re like me, you don’t really know exactly what you want or what you want to get out of it. So you will figure it out along the way. And that’s okay. Just, again, be open to the possibility. And that’s all I guess. Anyone can ask.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

That’s why we’re Possiblists. That’s why we are called Possiblists!. And what I love as I’m hearing you talking Pesh is also like what that means for you as a leader. I like being vulnerable, being open to the possibility of things really listening, even if you’re a little bit skeptical about things. Have you seen that in we’ll talk a little bit about that in terms of your leadership.

Pesh

We will call me like, I’m a carer. I care for my team deeply. But, having gone through this is, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to let them also take a fall and stumble once in a while. And I’ve also got to be vulnerable in myself and actually, very, maybe good at this one, you are better so why don’t you do this one, I’ll deal with X, X, Y and Z and just being open with them and also letting them know they can be vulnerable and that and just have possibilities, they’re endless possibilities of how this could go or what it could be or what we could have in common just having that mindset for them has been great and I’ve seen it and I think when we did our three way, when we were speaking with my lead I think he told you he could see already how everybody else was just benefiting from me having completely changed, because then I was just like nothing’s gonna collapse. Everything’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. If I don’t overthink it, it’s gonna be absolutely fine. So yeah, so that’s been super beneficial to see some people in my team sort of rise To the challenge, and yeah, be really good at it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And take me back to the beginning and give me one word, or two if you need to have how you describe yourself at the beginning of the journey, and then one or two of how you describe where you are now?

Pesh

At the beginning, what was I, I can’t even describe what I was at the beginning as I didn’t know what I was. I was just, I just knew I needed something. I just did not know what that something was. And so I would say, I remember and we did the exercise, and you gave me a bunch of pictures. And you went, pick one. And I think I picked one. And then I went, this is the wrong one. And I changed it immediately to something else. Because at that point, I realized what I was just an infant, then if I can call it that, that was just like a baby I didn’t know, didn’t know how to eat by myself, clean myself, right? I didn’t, I didn’t know nothing. When I got into there, and through water, just seeing the growth of I learnt to walk and talk. And I’ve learned to feed myself and, being potty trained. And it was a journey, right? It’s growth, is what I can see. And it’s been, it’s been great because I’ve been able to also vocalize what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go. And that change has come about so quickly. That I was shocked to myself, in terms of me having to be able to go and say, actually, I really want to change and do this other thing. Because I’m really passionate about being so how do I get that done? And just being able to be very clear on what I wanted to achieve what I wanted to do when I feel I can add the most value. That’s been incredible. So it’s a big, huge, huge change. Yeah, I’m, I’m still learning and still growing. Nobody stops growing right. So it’s, I hope it will continue in this way.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And can we share the news?

Pesh

Well, not yet. When this goes, without giving away too much it will be, I’ll be doing something different. So when we started, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I didn’t actually, like I said in the beginning, I couldn’t, I didn’t know all I knew is I didn’t want not to be doing what I’m doing right. I knew something had changed. I just didn’t know what. So I’m getting to actually do something that I absolutely will love it’s completely new territory. I am excited. I am scared. But actually, I am so confident and, the C word again, but it will be a brilliant, brilliant, new role. And I’m super excited and I’m not feeling guilty, because I think one of the things is always taking care of my team and feeling like if I do make a change, I’m gonna be leaving them. That’s silly, because when people would think about it, people will say but, it’s just work, but for me, my team is not just work, they I treat them as I see them more than they probably see my own family. And so they become sort of a secondary family. So everything I do, I always think about how that is going to impact them. And being able to empower them so I can take the next step has been honestly incredible. And so yeah, I’m excited that I’m gonna be able to do this.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Excited for you. So last few questions. If you had three words to describe your high definition coaching journey, what would they be?

Pesh

Incredible, brilliant, unexpected. And I say unexpected, because like I say, came in with no expertise, with no expectation, a little bit of hesitancy. And it has turned out to be one of the best decisions that I made. So thank you to my lead Ben, for this, but also thank you to you for making this journey something incredible. And yeah, I am more curious than ever now to just know what is coming around the corner. I know I want to reach for it. Because again, endless possibilities.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Oh I’m so excited for you. So the last thing I want you to ask to share is if someone’s where you were when you said no. What would you say to them? If they’re listening to your story, they’re feeling inspired, but they’re, where you were when you’re initially what do I need a coach? No, I’m not getting a coach or maybe they’re like, I don’t have enough time or I don’t have the money or I won’t get it signed off. What would you say to that person?

Pesh

I have an open mind right? Just if you’re like me, you’d have gone through many different scenarios or we could talk about what are they going to help me I actually don’t know This, like I dont know what a coach is gonna help me, but just be open to the possibility that this could potentially change the trajectory of your life in one way or another. And if you’re open to that possibility, nothing else will be almost impossible. Nothing, nothing will be and, with coaching, I guess that coaches for certain badges. I know, I know, there are people who can help you either way. So just take the first step in, like I said, the first step is making sure that the coach that you choose, really understands you and understands your needs, and you’re able to just kind of have that repport with them. Because if you don’t have that, nothing else is gonna fall in place. So, choose wisely, but go for it. Don’t hesitate, go for it. Yeah. And I hope it changes your life.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I have adored our journey together. And I love seeing where you are now. And I’m so excited about the next chapter and the next chapter after that, because I know the author, looking at her. It’s been so wondrous to be a part of your immense shift in terms of what do I need it for to where you are now to from baby to what are we going to say is where you are now you’re a baby, you are an infant, and what are you now?

Pesh

I think I’m still a toddler.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

A curious toddler, watch.

Pesh

I am a toddler for now, I’m curious about everything and I want to try everything and I’m feeling like,  I’m invincible literally. Until I get over that phase. I think at this point, I’m just, again, just curious about what’s happening and where potentially this could this could go.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Thank you Pesh.

Pesh

Thank you Gita.