Celebrating Aliyah: “I was limited, and now I’m unlimited!”

“I wanted more life, that was that was my big thing! I wanted just more of everything, more experiences, more of an expanded view, more opportunities, and the ability to see those opportunities more. That’s what connected me with High Definition, the Possiblist mentality.”

Aliyah Says:

I’m a Diversity Equity and Inclusion and Belonging Practitioner. So right now I’m the head of DEI for a tech company based out of Texas.

How did you get into coaching?

The funny thing is my big thing, and why I went into coaching was, I communicated with the team that I wanted more life, that was that was my big thing. I wanted just more of everything more experiences, more of an expanded view, more opportunities, and the ability to see those opportunities.

That’s really what I connected to the most with High Definition, the Possiblist mentality. And that was really, without knowing the language or terminology, what I wanted out of the experience.

Was there any resistance for you?

I had zero resistance to the process; I was just so incredibly excited to get started. And I had such an open mind, I didn’t know what would come of the process, And so for me, it was just going in with an open mind seeing how things went and being so brutally honest with myself about, you know, where I felt there were areas of opportunity. But I will say, in terms of things that were potential barriers, where I kind of told myself, hey, maybe this won’t work for these reasons. For sure, it was, you know, thinking through financially, you know, how to how to manage through that process. And this was my first time getting into a role professionally, where I was leading the function of DEI. And so I was just starting out a new a new company, and I was, you know, kind of like, oh, well, I don’t know if I’ll get sponsorship for this. And ultimately, I just decided, I was like, you know, this is this is you, this is your thing, this is your time. And so, if you’re going to invest in anything, you should invest in yourself and kind of took the leap with that, and with the open mind, and I’m so happy I did.

What have been the benefits of coaching so far?

For me, personally, what shifted was just my perspective, I had a challenge with feeling hesitant about how I approached opportunities, because I was always worried I didn’t know enough, or I wasn’t experienced enough, or there was so much that I needed to get an understanding of before I tried anything. And now my perspective has shifted to just try it, just do it. There’s no like, there’s literally no barriers. And, you know, I created a lot of those things for myself. And so for me, personally, that’s been my biggest, biggest shift. Professionally, that’s carried over as well, because for me and my work, it’s translated to one, me having more of an expanded view of others. I approach my situations in my day to day where I’m constantly needing to support other people and help them have an expanded view or perception of the world or each other themselves. And so me being able to achieve that with myself has actually helped me do that in my in my professional life with others. So that’s made a big difference. It’s also made a big difference professionally with me, taking on new projects and the pressure of those types of projects, because a lot of these are, you know, very large scale projects. And I’m the sole owner of those projects. And so being in a position where maybe it’s something I haven’t done before, like I said, this is the first time I’m leading a function on my own. I’m constantly being put into situations where I’m needing to think from, you know, a position of what’s possible, rather than all of the ways that I am, maybe I’m not the best person to do something, when really in reality I am and that’s why I’m in the position I’m in. That’s made a huge difference for me.

What was your coaching Aha! moment?

We ended up carrying this through my coaching experience with Karen and something that we laughed about a lot. But I’d say I had one aha moment that led to another aha moment. And the first one was kind of I consider it my practice run. And I was at a restaurant and I ordered duck from this restaurant and I love the duck at this restaurant. But I ordered it as like a side to some noodles that I got. Normally I order it as its own entree.

Anyway. So when you order it with the noodles, it doesn’t come with the sauce that they give you when you order the entree. And I really liked sauce. And so I’m sitting there and I’m, you know, thinking about the fact that I just ordered this, and I really want this sauce and it doesn’t come with the sauce. And I started going through in the past what I would do, which is the whole shagging rabbits experience of, oh, well, don’t ask for something else, because that’s inconvenient for the kitchen. And what if it costs extra to get this and you didn’t order the entree, so you shouldn’t get the sauce with that, and it’s this whole long thing, and it’s just going going going, you’re gonna be annoying, and you don’t want to be that type of customer, and they’re not even gonna want to serve you and you come here a lot, they’re not gonna want to see you when you do this whole thing over some sauce, right? It’s just sauce!

But this is this is just an insight into where I was with everything in my life, never wanting to be an inconvenience to people never wanting. So it stopped me from asking for things I wanted. And so I just said to myself, so what’s the worst that can happen? Worst case scenario, they say no. But I asked for the sauce. And they brought the sauce out. And it was great. And the chef made it just for me, and it was in its own little bowl, and I got to put it on my deck. On my own, it was this whole thing. And I was so proud of myself. And that was one of my goals that, you know, I communicate with my coach, I said, I want moments where I feel proud of myself. And it’s no one else’s when it’s just my win because I did something that, you know, for whatever reason was brave, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to other people.

And so I had that in that moment. And that moment with the sauce inspired my trip to London and Paris, my first solo trip it was, it was that moment and that feeling of what’s the worst that can happen, take a risk, go for what you want. And even though it was a small restaurant experience, it translated into me taking bigger risks and bigger leaps and doing different things that were outside of my comfort zone, which I don’t think I had even clearly defined prior.

So those are definitely two aha moments.

So every coaching session after that we talked about like, what’s the new sauce what’s, what’s next?

What’s possible now?

What’s possible, for me, what wasn’t possible before was being able to see my career and my life in a way that was having several options and being able to take advantage of as many as I want to at once if I want to or at different times if I want to, but just the potential of not needing to pick one thing. And, I grew up my entire life feeling that you need to have one thing, you need to focus on one thing. And if it’s outside of that one thing, then it’s a distraction, or it’s not a compliment, or it’s you know, it’s none of those things. And so, for as long as I can remember, I’ve known what I wanted to be when I grew up, and it changed. But I always needed to have a thing.

What would have probably served me as a child, and what is now serving me having gone through this coaching experience, is understanding that it could be more than one thing. And what you want to be or who you want to be isn’t limited to you choosing a singular thing and sticking to that it’s whatever you want to make out of life. And so I’ve one of the things I share with Karen was I’ve shifted in this process from seeing my life as like a prefixed dinner menu, where they bring out each course one at a time. And now I’m at an all-inclusive all you can eat buffet, and I just go wherever I want, eat as much as I want. And so that’s, been my shift.

How would you describe your Possiblist coach?

For one Karen, is just fantastic. Like she’s just a phenomenal human being. But what made such a big difference for us is she really did take the time to get to know and understand me.

And that’s what also makes the program so great is that, you know, you really do start off with serious reflection. And really taking those moments to think through, you know, what is it that you’re looking for in the process and being having a consciousness and awareness of that. And Karen did a really good job of keeping that top of mind throughout the process. So it wasn’t just like in the beginning. I said, here are all the things I wanted. It was every single session I was reminded of, you know, here’s what you’re trying to get out of this. And, you know, how do you feel about this particular thing as it relates to that, and it really helped to keep me on track.

The other thing that helped to keep me on track is the program has so many helpful resources you know through the portal or educational Things that Karen shared with me or the emails, so everything was very holistic. And I was able to tap into that. And along with that, it was still very tailored. And so I had the opportunity in my current coaching journey, to take a turn if I wanted to, or make a change if I wanted to, or if I felt, you know, this, this particular, you know, experiment wasn’t working the way that I wanted it to work, I was kind of given that room and that permission in the space to pivot on my own if I wanted to, and report back and see how that went. And just that practice of doing those things in the program, definitely translated to my day-to-day life.

What surprised you about the program?

I was surprised by so many things, but probably the biggest thing that surprised me is I didn’t expect coaching to teach me how to coach myself, I did not expect that I thought I would go in and, you know, kind of be in a student mode the entire time. And, really, one of the fantastic things about working with Karen, it’s, it was more of a train the trainer for your life. And I didn’t expect that at all I very much was, you know, in student mode, but then, you know, kind of given the tools and resources and the perspective to just take this back and make sure that I’m able to use those things on my own and independently. And in a way that really just shifts my thought process rather than just giving me strategies. Here the strategies, but also think differently about this in a way that you can sustain it yourself. And that was a complete game changer for me. So, you know, I do have my moments like with the sauce example, where you know, I’ll see something happening, and then I’ll remember oh, wait, mind shift. This is this is how I think about this now. And you know, this is how I approached this now. That surprised me a lot.

What advice would you give someone who is considering coaching?

My advice to them would be 100% do it. It’s absolutely worth it. It’s one of those things where if you’re interested, and if you’re committed to it, it’s you get out what you put in. Just being open minded to the process and open to being 100% with the process makes all the difference. But for sure, it’s absolutely worth it. And and you’ll be surprised by what you get out of it. Because going in, you’ll kind of outline a couple of things that you’re like, here are the things I want to I want to reach and here’s the stuff I want to do. And then through the process, you’ve learned so much about yourself. And some of that just unlocks new possibilities of what you can achieve. So I’d say do it!

What word would describe you at the start of your coaching journey and what word describes you now?

I guess the first thing that comes to mind is at the beginning of my journey, I described myself as limited, and now unlimited. So that’s the difference.

Three words to describe your coaching journey

Three ways to describe it. The first, I’d say, reinvigorating, empowering and transformational. And it was such a good experience. So I’m so happy to share my experience and all of that it was fantastic.

And the funny thing is I have when you were asking me about the three words. The three things to describe my experience in my head. All I could think about was I don’t know if you’ve ever seen wicked but it’s my favorite Broadway show. And I just was thinking about like the defying gravity like song like that’s, that’s like that song encapsulates my experience.