Celebrating Fran: Director and a new Mother Marketing and Media Sector

“I was overthinking, second guessing, I had anxiety & fear and felt like I needed to look to others for validation. The key things that have changed for me is confidence, knowing who I am as a leader. Moving from the sub-conscious to the present. Honing my personal brand has been a huge change for me. I realised the power is in my hands to take out the fear. I have more confidence and more control. I am clearer, more concise and considered. It is a transformation. It is a wholesale neurological journey. It is life skills!”

Fran

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Hi, it’s Gitanjali here from High Definition You and today I am very, very pleased to be bringing you the client success story which has filled me with so much joy. Of Fran.

Hi, friend. Thank you for the story. Can you tell us a little bit about who you are in the world personally and professionally?

Fran

Yeah, sure, so I, professionally, I work for a design agency, and I have kind of worked there for the last 10 years and worked my way up. So I’m now sort of a director position, which I was, which I achieved last year.

So I’m leading a team of five and growing. So yeah, we’re a design agency that specialises in the sort of real estate sector. So I’m really kind of in charge of client accounts, and then also managing projects and overseeing the team and what we kind of churn out on a weekly, monthly basis.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

And it’s growing, as you say, so take us back to before we started our coaching program together, Fran, and tell me a little bit more about what you were struggling with at the time, what did you feel like you needed help with?

Fran

So I think, Gosh, three-hour sessions, I definitely kind of undergone. And I think a lot of having shared this with the group and had so much reassuring feedback on this, I kind of went through a crisis of confidence when I was given my directorship and had imposter syndrome at its highest level, which I’d really been trying to figure out on my own and not too much sort of success, I think, pre our session, I was starting to build some blocks, but really didn’t have wasn’t able to navigate my way through and develop my own leadership skills on my own.

I think what I was really doing was overthinking and second-guessing. I was kind of trying to do thinking I knew what the right thing was, but then also constantly questioning myself and feeling like I needed to look to other people for validation on how I was being a leader, how I was sort of managing my team and, and stuff.

So I was in a bit of a spot of a real crisis of confidence and needed someone who just helped me align a lot of those thoughts that I was having, and breakthrough a lot of the kind of second-guessing, overthinking and anxiety I was having around my leadership style, essentially.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Yeah, there was a lot going on for you. And I know when we talked about, you know, making the investment to start the program with me, there was some thinking around that as well. Share any resistance that came up or maybe anything that stopped you from saying yes, straight away.

Fran

Oh, 100%. So I was, I think when you messaged me, I was like, Oh, my God, I’m so excited. As you know, I really want to do this. So I was immediately really excited. And again, obviously, during the COVID period, things were very uncertain for our business anyway. And I quite quickly realised I wasn’t going to get any sort of coverage for this by my company. I wasn’t going to get sponsored.

And so I remember my husband just going to me when I realised that there’s going to be one night, well forget that do you feel like joining, do you feel like you want this? do you want to do this, when you think about doing or this, you know, this course and joining Gita on this journey, like, what does it do?

And I was like, it makes me really excited like the butterflies. I want to do it. So I decided to invest in it myself. And it was, yeah, just have a look back really?

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Well, I’m so thrilled that you said yes. And tell me a little bit about what’s changed for you. What are the results that you’ve seen maybe on a leadership level, but for yourself as well, through our work together?

Fran

Oh, gosh, quite a few things. And it was really interesting thinking about when I kind of noticed it happening. But I think a really good measure of knowing when it started happening was I’d actually made a couple of hires, literally, on the dawn of starting the sort, of course with you and the rest of the guys.

And so I was really able to try and track it through that. But I think the key things that have changed for me are confidence in terms of really identifying who I am as not just a leader, but also you know, what is my brand as a person who am I? What, kind of personality do I have? What way do I want to lead my team?

And what personality traits do I emanate essentially, and how that might be for others. So I think I’ve definitely just moved from a subconscious level into being very conscious in the present. So I’m very much more aware of who I am, how I come across, maybe the way in which I say things and being very sensitive around that. So I think this whole self-awareness and really honing my personal brand has been a huge change for me.

I had no real, potentially some awareness, but no real thought and understanding of how I come across to other people and how that might impact how they react to me or how they respond to me. So that was one big thing. I think the second thing is battling anxiety and fear. That was a huge step. I think di-stigmatising and also breaking down what fear and anxiety are, and understanding.

You know, I always thought that fear and anxiety weren’t my responsibility, it was something that happened to me. Instead of being something that I created and I allowed it to kind of happen around certain topics. So as soon as I learned that the power was in my hands, and those lines of nana nana nana no, don’t back that off, don’t make it as if you’re being you know, the world’s against you and you’re being affected by things.

Anxiety is, you know, your creature and your creature alone that you can learn to understand and not be afraid of, you know, acknowledge it, okay, this is making me feel really nervous, I’m starting to get sweaty palms, I am getting really stressed. Okay, just stop and breathe, and then just break it down and take the fear out of it.

So that has been, I will take that with me forever, not just in work throughout life, it’s going to be a useful tool. So those are the two definitely the two major things.

And I think what that has kind of led to are just more confidence and more control. I think when you take out the anxiety and the fear of this, you know, this control element and actually feeling like, Okay, I got this, like, you know, it feels attainable and feels achievable.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Down for your team, then if you’re coming to it from those new plays of confidence, understanding and self-awareness, what do you think has been the result for your team? What have you seen differently there?

Fran

So I’ve had a couple of reviews with a couple of members of my team actually, and on their performance, but also on mine saying, you know, what else can I be doing too? And I had some really interesting feedback. I think what’s changed is, that I’ve stopped the verbal diarrhoea, calling them up and going, which was coming from a key point of no control.

Right? I would call him coming. Okay, today, you know, and I just wanted to get back to that. And I don’t know, I need to know, the lalalalala. And, you know, we did a lot of work around things like statements, backs, graffiti and stuff like that, and all the kind of the crap I was putting into my communication with them, and they have said they’ve noticed a marked difference in that.

It’s clear, it’s concise, it’s considered, and it’s not a brief verbal attack. So I think communication has totally changed in that respect, I think I also have managed to develop a relationship with a colleague of mine that, you know, I don’t necessarily think we saw eye to eye before because we’re very different in personality.

But I’ve developed confidence as I say it how it is and to let it hang there and put something out there and see how someone responds to it and fill in the gaps. I think I constantly used to because I was anxious about our relationship, I would overcompensate and fill in with regards to an opportunity. So I’m getting away.

I mean, if you don’t want to do it, don’t worry, you know, don’t worry, I’ll do it. You know what I’ll do. I used to have conversations with myself. And that person was like, what she’s doing. I mean, she asked me to do something or is she so I had anxiety around my communication which I don’t anymore, because I don’t mind the awkward silence and I don’t mind going, you know, we can discuss this if you’re not happy with it. What about this?

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I love that. That power of silence. Absolutely. And the brain just processes it and having that detachment from it and just saying yeah, this I’ve put it there and it’s been as you say concisely considered.

Yeah, and then letting them process it. profound change, saying that you were trying to figure out when you noticed it happening. Can you take me to that moment when you knew that the coaching was working?

Fran

There were a couple of moments where, and we kind of discussed this in our group sessions where we felt that we were like, everything’s going really good. Everything’s going really well. And then definitely like, oh, it’s all gone. It’s all gone to crap. And maybe this isn’t working. I haven’t got my head around it.

There was a moment when I had a conversation, and I came away from that conversation. And although I had, I felt like I’d let myself down because I had entered into the bitching, moaning, winching and I’d invested 20/30 minutes of my time, parroting and also taking part in some serious BMW action.

I came off the call and when. Because the thing is, doing it was so natural to me. And I came off the call and went, hang on, and it doesn’t feel like why did I do that? And I wrote down all the things that could have been potential actions but weren’t because we just moaned about it.

And I realised then that something in here had just changed. It wasn’t, you know, I spent the first I said this to you earlier, but I spent the first few weeks of our sessions being like, you know, the keen student at the front being right, I’m going to read all my notes.

And like every day, I’m just going to refresh my mind and be like, BPO, BMW, I’m just going to look at all the acronyms and I’m just going to apply these to my day today. And I think that moment, you know, like that cool, for example, was one moment where I realised that it wasn’t about being stupid. It was about like, actually changing my brain. And it is part of me, just noticing it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

So huge when you really notice it, it’s like, yeah, glaringly obvious. Like, how did I never see this? They flawed from there, right? That’s the thing. Yeah. What. What, and he talked about the group coat coaching element of it a little bit already? What really surprised you or delighted you about that process?

Fran

Well, first of all, just such an interesting mix of people. It’s funny, isn’t it? Like I always have, and I’m sure other people only spoke about this in the group. But I was like, What are we gonna have in common with all these people, and they could be much more senior than me, and you kind of have these reservations and the revelation what the revelation was that no matter what walk of life, we were from, no matter what our, you know, struggles were, or potentially our kind of BPOS were or our objectives for this journey.

We all just had so much in common, like so much in common. And I think I know that this has been mentioned before, but to feel like you’re not alone is a really powerful thing. To feel like, also, just how quickly we were able to just break, like, just not be afraid to share. That was amazing.

And just to feel really supported. And watch all these strong, incredible. People have their journeys. I loved the sessions, I used to watch them back sometimes just even if I’d been on the session, I used to watch them back because I really just what did many say about that thing? Again, I’m going to go and have a look. And you can, other people’s stories are amazing. They’re like, incredible. And you can go, God, if they can do it, I can do it.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

Yeah, there was that lovely sense of community and inspiration from other people and contributing because I saw you contribute so much to the growth of other people as well, Fran, which was beautiful.

So you’ve talked a lot about the results that you’ve seen, you know, personally and rewiring your brain and what that’s been for you as a leader and what that’s meant for you as a team. What do you think it was about the way that I worked with you that enabled you to get those results?

Fran

I think Well, one thing really, really springs to mind. And I’ve obviously known you for a few years, so. And I’ve always had such incredible you’ve always had such an incredible impact on me every time that we meet every time that we’ve had sessions in the past, but I think particularly in this scenario, there was one moment in one of the sessions we had and it was aq & a q&a. And I look back at it now and I kind of cringe. It’s also quite funny.

But I was listening. I think it was about a question of mine. And instead of being sat and being like, right, I’m ready to listen and I’m ready to take this on. I was kind of like being sat there. I was twiddling my hair.

And I was like, you know, I was really concentrating but I wasn’t at all aware of how that came across. I was you know, and it almost looks Like, you know, I don’t know, someone who’s like, you know, at school relaxed kind of, you know, and I wasn’t you, like, notice that you were like, right Fran Clark set up pulling your hair out, I want you to listen to this.

This is the point I’m going to make and that frankness and that honesty, I came off the call afterwards and I was like, why was I sitting like that? Why, you know, God, like those post moments with myself where I’m like, gosh, yeah, thank God, she gave me a kick up the ass.

Just be like, switch your brain on, stop. You are a leader you are, you know, you’re this, you’re that you’re constantly telling me that like, picking me up on stuff. I didn’t need someone to mollycoddle me. I don’t think I needed someone to be like, right? Sit up straight. And listen.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

I remember that session, I remember that moment. It’s been so wonderful watching your growth and your transformation. And if someone’s watching this brand, and they’re being really inspired by your story, what would you say to them? If they considered investing in coaching for themselves?

Fran

If they’re considering it, I would say, ah, do it. I think it’s really, I think I knew that you would take him through this process anyway. But it is really good to sort of put down the reasons why first, and also do all of the exercises that you did with us on, you know, some adjectives around how you feel and things like that, because I can tell you when you look back, it is amazing. I was saying to you earlier that I look back at some of the documents from the beginning of the process.

And as soon as I saw the words, I remembered how I felt at that moment when I wrote it. It is a transformation. And what I would say, is don’t just consider this as something for work. It isn’t what it is. It is a wholesale, neurological emotional journey, but it’s for its life skills.

Basically, it is just life skills. It’s not about, you know, I’m going to get a business coach and I’m going to, you know, be really successful. It’s just about his life skills as being successful at being alive. And being a functioning brilliant human being. That’s what it is.

Gitanjali – High Definition You Coach

You are more than functioning (ah, thanks!), you’re brilliant and it’s been my privilege to work with you over the last few months. And I look forward to seeing your further transformation in terms of really taking it to the next level now that your team is growing and growing and things are just accelerating as a beautiful thing to watch. So thank you so much for sharing your story with me today. And as always.

Thanks, Fran.