This week’s video about overcoming stress is coming from Boston Airport where I had some time to reflect on how many times we are overwhelmed or stressed out at work or in our personal life, often as a result of dealing with difficult conversations.

Are you familiar with the concept of ‘clearing the cache’ on your computer?! Do not fear, this is NOT a tech talk! Me doing a ‘how to’ on tech?!! No! Stay with me though – today is actually all about handling difficult situations!

I travel quite a lot and I don’t know if you’ve ever had this happen but you go in and look at a flight and it’s $150 (insert your relevant currency here!). Then you are umming and ahhhing and you go in 30mins later and suddenly its $200!!! And you think “why did I not book that straight away?!!” and you get just a tiny bit/super frustrated with yourself!

Firstly, it’s not you – it’s the cookies in your browser! Secondly, did you know you can go in and clear your cache which removes all the history/cookies from your browser?! So then, when you go back to look at that flight, the airlines don’t know you’ve already looked at it. Because, that is what the algorithms are doing. They know you’ve looked at it so they put the price up when you go back in to look again….to increase the pressure! Soooooo,

What does this have to do with difficult conversations?

Well, watch this week’s video to learn a simple but powerful tool I developed to help you clear your personal cache…

I had a client recently and we’d had some challenging conversations, and it got to a stage that every time I got on the phone with them I was carrying that residual, that story, that ‘browser history’ with me into that call. So, I invented this mindset tool called:

Clear Your Cache…

If there was no browser history how would I approach this?

  1. What would it be like if I had never spoken/disagreed with this client/person?
  2. How would I feel right now?
  3. What emotional state would I be in right before I picked up the phone/went into the meeting?
  4. What words would I use then with this client?
  5. How would I imagine this client to be in the best possible version of themselves?
  6. How will I be the best possible version of me in that conversation?

I use it all the time now, personally and professionally! You can do it ahead of time – prep and write it down, or in the moment. As you feel your stress levels rising and your frustration with the other person increasing – you can regain your power and control by taking a moment to breath in and Clear Your Cache.

There is no history here; it’s a blank page…

  • What would be the first thing I would say to this person?
  • What would be the first question that I would ask?
  • How would I sit in the chair opposite them in this meeting?
    etc….

It’s a simple but powerful tool.

And, as always, if no one else tells you today, I am grateful for you! Thank you for letting me be a part of your day. I challenge you to clear your cache for a difficult situation this week. Let me know how it goes. Thank you for being a part of my world.

With gratitude,

High Definition You - Gitanjali Trevorrow-Seymour - Signature Leadership Training Coaching

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